Overcoming fears in relationship therapy
Initiating any kind of counseling is no easy task. It is a fact that most people find it more difficult to initiate couple counseling than when it comes to individual therapy. This is because it is easier to expose your inner-most fears and hopes to a stranger who is supportive rather than to your spouse who is just waiting to criticize, disagree, argue and belittle your opinions and views. She or he knows so regarding already from daily life together.
Then there is that additional fear that the naked truth may hurt or upset your spouse more and worsen am already bad situation. Many fear that despite knowing the counselor is professionally trained, he/she may side with the other partner. Couple counseling has a tendency of awakening long suppressed and dormant sibling rivalry.
If you manage to get over that bridge and start relationship therapy, the resultant rewards are in many cases often greater than those derived from individual counseling. Couples in most cases get what is called an ‘immediate short-term boost’ which comes partly from an immediate sense of relief that finally something is being done about ‘us’, but mainly from the fact by your partner agreeing to trying relationship therapy, it enough proof that he or she cares.
It will soon become clear to both partners that the counselor’s sole responsibility is to heal the relationship and that both will get equal attention, time and understanding. At a deeper level, couple or joint effort/work will avoid the victim mentality of a “poor me” attitude that is usually a by-product of those individual therapy sessions you could have gone to. Individual sessions have a dangerous tendency of encouraging one to go deeper and deeper into an own world kind of view. Relational therapy for couples will in most cases need fewer sessions as compared to individual sessions